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The current period represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more extensive and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means going for someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who forgo having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits suggesting a potential partner is not right. For instance calling their exes crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions validate your choice to date a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {