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On occasion, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually succeeded by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his conduct, leaving him highly sensitive to criticism from external sources. He began to think he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits on the internet – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. However, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment without having already reached that conclusion by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding NPD

While people have been labelled as narcissists for more than a century, it’s not always clear what is meant by the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a psychology professor, noting the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people conceal it, because of significant negative perception associated with the disorder. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like pursuing power,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in The Disorder

Though up to 75% of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies indicates this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she says, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I either go into self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this response – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have healthy examples as a child. I’ve had to teach myself over the years the difference between suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my family members were insulting me in my early years.”

Origins of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult says when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, struggles with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, he was directed to a mental health professional for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: It was indicated it is probably going to be in a few months.”

He has shared with a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is always a good thing,” he comments. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the existence of NPD content creators and the expansion of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number